Sunday, 15 March 2009


I timed myself today. And sadly to say it wasn’t to do with jogging. It took me 14 minutes to read two and a half pages of reports and post match analysis (Sunday Times Sport) of Manchester United’s resounding defeat by Liverpool the day before. That was also the time it took for a member of the staff at the Rotunda to take any notice of me sitting at one of their outside tables. The most probable reasons for this inadvertence are twofold- I decided to settle down al fresco (when everyone else were dining inside, except for smokers enjoying a sneaky fag) and the innate possibility of yours truly looking like a tramp (old trilby and unkempt hair). Now if it weren’t for the Sunday papers and Liverpool’s (I’m a gooner, I just happen to love any team who beats Man U!) victory, I would’ve thrown a wobbly! The thought of waiting ‘hours on end’ and ending up like a discarded lemon simply beggars belief. Oh in addition to perusing the sport pages I managed to snap a few pictures as well, here we go while we wait-
You still there?

Ah, at last a very young chap came over, innocently insinuating was it coffee or tea I wanted but I bet you one of his supervisors sent him out here to resolve sticky problems like non-paying parasites squatting at their vacant tables. As soon as I mentioned it was lunch that I came for and it had been unnecessarily delayed for a quarter of an hour, the whole world effectively changed for both parties concerned. I never recalled an utter of apology, but sometimes that’s forgivable especially when a mistake that is so foolishly committed it would simply kill that person just to apologise for it. That’s it, no more of talk this matter again. Thereafter the service was seven stars, just like the Burj Al Arab; five won’t do, the hyperbole exists.

The Rotunda Bar and Restaurant is situated in Kings Place, a newish all singing and dancing arts/conference centre near King's Cross. I came here because I managed to stumble upon its brunch menu by way of the Harden’s site. I felt that the menu was well conceived and somewhat indicative of contemporary British cooking that is near perfect. Rather like Jeremy Lee’s Blueprint Café but without the offal. Despite the obvious temptations of Beef & Ale Casserole and Sausages (Ginger Pig allegedly) & Mash, I went for something crabby (the shellfish sense please) instead.

The homemade crab cake at £14.50 was titchy. Hell I’m not going to lay into them but lambaste this place like there’s no tomorrow.

Cut the thing up for all you eager peeps. Crikey, it actually tasted quite decent, no it was more than that, it was bloody brilliant! The ratio of crabmeat to potato was faultless, this is the best fishcake (yes fish and that includes The Ivy’s Salmon Fishcakes) I’ve had. Just hope to Poseidon that this is not a one off fluke. I know that I don’t half rabbit on, but the lemon mayo was intense and excruciatingly yummy (even on its own!). One last thing, the portion was still mean though. And...never mind, another time.

I asked the young lady (non-uniformed which can only mean management material or deputy dawg-ish) who by now have the pleasure of serving me; what pudding I should plump for.Without due hesitation she recommended the Lemon Tart. But I just had that lemon mayo with the mains, oh what the heck she works here so she knoweth nowt but best.

This tart drove me to elysian heights;

the tartness of the lemon filling was gorgeous and the pastry likewise. Am I right in feeling suspicious that both courses were made to perfection just to allay the waiting fiasco? I sincerely hope not.

I couldn’t take any photos of the restaurant’s interiors, the young lady’s permission was soon vetoed by the most condescending plonker of a manager I’ve encountered so far this year. Oh you can’t do this and you can’t do that, you need advance notice coupled with a written request to the head office before any snaps are allowed. Mr Young Lad Manager, just say sorry and no, I can more than accept that as I don’t need that entire lowdown (in an excitable manner as well) from you in front of all the other diners! It also takes a lot to embarrass me as well you tw*t!

Based on today’s lunch, this is a wonderful place; what with spring and summer coming I can’t currently think of a better place than the Rotunda to dine al fresco. Great food, great service, great scenery and great for smokers as well! Recommended, highly if not for that manager!

Kings Place
90 York Way
N1 9AG


thora said...

Both the crab cake and the lemon tart look like to die for, simply delicious. Well written post and funny.

bellaphon said...

Thanks Thora ;)

Anonymous said...

Your job as a future mother is to learn the god's ways and to help your child understand despite the negative reinforcement and conditioning of today's society. Without consciousous parents the child will have no hope, and may even exaserbate their disfavor by becoming corrupted in today's environment.
Your ultimate goal is to fix your relationship wiith the gods and move on. You don't want to be comfortable here, and the changes in Western society in the last 100 years has achieved just that.
1000 years with Jesus is the consolation prize. Don't be deceived into thinking that is the goal.

Much like the other prophets Mohhamed (polygamy/superiority over women/misogyny) and Jesus (forgiveness/savior), the gods use me for temptation as well. In today's modern society they feel people are most weak for popular culture/sensationalism, and the clues date back to WorldWarII and Unit731:TSUSHOGO, the Chinese Holocaust. They used this Situation to bury Japanese atrocities.
It has been discussed that, similar to the Matrix concept, the gods will offer a REAL "Second Coming of Christ", while the "fake" Second Coming will come at the end and follow New Testiment scripture and their xtian positioning. I may be that real Second Coming.
What I teach is the god's true way. It is what is expected of people, and only those who follow this truth will be eligible to ascend into heaven as children in a future life. They offered this event because the masses have just enough time to work on and fix their relationship with the gods and ascend, to move and grow past Planet Earth, before the obligatory xtian "consolation prize" of "1000 years with Jesus on Earth" begins.

The Prince of Darkness, battling the gods over the souls of the Damned.
It is the gods who have created this environment and led people into Damnation with temptation. The god's positioning proves they work to prevent people's understanding.
How often is xtian dogma wrong? Expect it is about the Lucifer issue as well.
The fallen god, fighting for justice for the disfavored, banished to Earth as the fallen angel?
I believe much as the Noah's Flood event, the end of the world will be initiated by revelry among the people. It will be positioned to be sanctioned by the gods and led for "1000 years with Jesus on Earth".
In light of modern developments this can entail many pleasures:::Medicine "cures" aging, the "manufacture" of incredible beauty via cloning as sex slaves, free (synthetic) cocaine, etc.
Somewhere during the 1000 years the party will start to "die off", literally. Only those who maintain chaste, pure lifestyles, resisting these temptations, will survive the 1000 years. Condemned to experience another epoch of planet's history for their ignorant pursuit of xtianity, they will be the candidates used to (re)colonize (the next) Planet Earth, condemned to relive the misery experienced by the peasantry during history due to their failure to ascend into heaven before the Apocalypse.
Never forget:::It is not a house of Jesus.
If this concept of Lucifer is true another role of this individual may be to initiate disfavor and temptation among this new poulation, the proverbial "apple" of this Garden of Eden. A crucial figure in the history of any planet, he begins the process of deterioration and decay that leads civilizations to where Planet Earth remains today.
Which one is it?:
One transitions into the other, allowing the gods to wash their hands of obligation to their Chosen One. My personal "consolation prize".
And since the gods never committed despite tens of billions in mass media, product development and natural disasters/tragedy they will employ the freedom they positioned into the Situation and CHEAT me out of everything.
Fuck the hundred trillion year-old gods and their "gangster capitalism" positioning:::The Matrix.