Hawksmoor Seven Dials

27/08/11





Best burger update!

Just when you thought that we’ve all had enough of those bleeding (no bun intended) burger reviews this post unashamedly upholds the tedium. Quite simply, I hereby concedeth (and as Lord Noods suggested- ‘…you're in danger of losing your 'contrarian' tag!’) that the burger I had at Hawksmoor Seven Dials was the absolute the mutt's nuts.

Came here with my daughter. She wanted what any teen would be entirely amenable to- pizza, Nando’s or burgers. The Covent Garden branch of Hawksmoor was chosen for a couple of reasons-

Firstly I needed to find out if a burger redemption was possible after my not-so-good experience at the original restaurant in Spitalfields.

Secondly Byron was no longer an option as they have as many branches in the vicinity as McD’s and astonishingly two more than KFC! Byron’s made me uncomfortably wary of its rapidly burgeoning motives.

Upon entering Hawksmoor and perusing the menu, daughter became suspicious of my choice for our weekly lunch date.

‘Dad, this place is expensive! You didn’t bring me here to pester about Oxbridge…Dad?’

‘Well you’ve nothing to lose so give it a go!’

‘Dad, a steak or let alone a posh burger is hardly going to change my mind. I’m going to Edinburgh or UCL, that’s that!’

‘I’ve also decided that I’m in total agreement with your Mum re the Reading Festival...deferred till next year I’m afraid’

‘Sooo No-Thank-You! And come to think of it I was going to give you The Ramones’ Teenage Lobotomy LP (vinyl) on Father's Day’

‘I have a mint copy already, thank you anyway. I’m hungry, shall we order?’

‘Sooo undeserving, yes let’s’

The service at Hawksmoor Seven Dials was exemplary except for a couple of hiccups-

Balls-up 1- a bottle of salty tasting Kingsdown was plonked before we were given the chance to opt for Tap du Thames. My issue is generally with the high sodium content found in most mineral water that’s bottled in Blighty, this invariably affects the taste buds. Best stick to tap, and besides the bottle it’s served in looks the part (as usually the case at upmarket restos).

Balls-up 2- the excellent waitress did stress that ‘we serve our burger medium unless specified well done’. And as common sense prevailed, I ordered the burger with an explicit reminder about my paranoia of meat ending up grey and cooked to death. Alas, and with lamentations abound, the burger arrived way beyond well done. Rather un-amusingly on my daughter’s part, she had to endure a Tim Dowling moment. A replacement was insisted upon despite the presence of a much-embarrassed and by now, half-fed teen.

We started off with bone marrow and slow cooked onions.

The generous helping was suitably and deliciously unctuous but overwhelmed by the all too sweet onion topping. Not a patch on the roast bone marrow and parsley salad found at St. John.

The warm lobster roll.

One of the most expensive sarnies offered in Britain and I would like to quote a good chum-

‘Really really very nice indeed, but decadent and expensive’

The replacement Hawksmoor Hamburger.

Cooked so perfectly medium it deserved a second close-up.

100% Longhorn mince with bits of bone marrow and topped with lettuce, tomato, red onion, gherkin and Ogleshield cheese (Colston Bassett Stilton is an option but methinks blue cheese is too strong for a noble breed of beef cattle). Daughter declared it more memorable than the one here and I agreed. It was quite simply a perfect burger that leaves the rest standing and to save everyone from the pain of my lack of eloquence in describing this distinguished offering, I’d best leave it to Mr Dickens-

‘If I knew as little of life as that, I'd eat my hat and swallow the buckle whole.’

From the The Pickwick Papers

On settling the bill, I asked my daughter whether it would be enough to sway her if Hawksmoor were to open a branch in Oxford, she replied back tersely that UCL is conveniently close enough to Covent Garden. End of conversation.

The chef Stevie Parle tweeted the following earlier this month-

‘I am not interested in burgers. They are just burgers.’ Well all I can say is, a burger is indeed just a burger unless it’s a Hawksmoor Hamburger. Highly recommended.



Seven Dials
11 Langley Street,
London,
WC2H 9JG

www.thehawksmoor.co.uk

: P

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Quê Việt redux

A second posting of the same place can only imply a positive note. Following the abysmal evening at Viet Grill, the latest dinner at Quê Việt was all-redeeming and a revelation.

BYO, but not for long…as all the Vietnamese joints on the Pho Mile are either renewing or applying for their booze licenses, now’s your chance to show off your Alsace Gewürztraminer, Côte de Beaunes or Tennent's Super without the dodgy and hefty mark-ups.

5 quid corkage for a bottle of wine is ‘fair dos’ but a quid for a can of amber nectar reflects Quê Việt’s policy in maintaining the practice that spells 'rip-off Britain'.

Came here with a vegetarian Dining Companion. And like all occidentals faced with a daunting menu in an ethnic restaurant, a platter of everything thrown in was enough to make her go weak at the knees.

The order of this vegetarian platter (rather huge I might add) was enforced with the usual rule of large starters of the ilk; a minimum of two or more peeps sharing. DC or Mme Gobbler scoffed the entire contents and declared the starter (or her entire meal methinks) totally scrumptious. However I did try a piece of battered aubergine, it was delightfully moreish and suggested that I shouldn’t needlessly poke further fun at veggies in time to come.

This review is down to the two outstanding dishes I had at Quê Việt. I began with Dê Hấp (steamed goat served rare). I suppose the best way to describe how this dish is prepared is to quote the following-

''There are various dishes made with goat meat such as stir-fried goat meat, steamed goat meat, grilled goat brisket, goat hotpot, rare goat meat mixed with lemon. Each of them has its own unforgettable taste but among those dishes rare-goat meat in Hoa Lu is considered is the most delicious one. The process of cooking this dish is quite complex and requires experience. Because goat meat usually has strong and weird smell, therefore, makers must get rid of that smell before cooking. Goat meat is washed carefully and cut into thin slices, then marinated with holy basil leaves and duckweed leaves for about ten minutes. After that, goat meat is dipped in hot water until rare and then mixed with various spices and additives such as ginger, chilly, lemon juice, citronella and roasted sesame seeds.''

www.vietnamfood.org

Like the Chinese, the Vietnamese have all sorts of advantageous excuses to eat certain foods. By eating goats, they say, one’s likely to curtail the following- anaemia, thinning hair, anti-dizziness, headaches, infatuations with Theresa May, back pains, etc.

Absolutely sublime, the herby lime sauce was perfect with the fragrant and tender meat. This dish also dispels the myth about goat meat being ‘strong’ and tough. And despite the above claims I was and am still very much in awe of T May.

DC’s unexciting looking veggie vermicelli bowl, after the starter binge, she opted to take it away instead.

Thịt bò lúc lắc- ‘shaking beef’.
Quê Việt’s most popular dish and thus their signature. The shaking description does not mean that one’s indulging in a sadomasochistic-culinary experience like devouring morsels of meat off a live cow…it simply describes the method of cooking! Marinated cubes of sirloin steak are frantically tossed and shaken from side to side in a wok to preserve the melt-in-the mouth consistency.

Once the dish arrives on the table, you’re encouraged to perform another ceremony, mix the beef well with the warm salad and tangy sauce (a mix of limejuice, rice wine, fish sauce, sugar, salt and pepper identified) until everything looks diametrically deconstructed or a plain bloody mess. Spoon it over a bowl of plain white rice, you’ll be on cloud nine thrice over. One of the best beef dishes I’ve had in London and most certainly on par with the high-end steaks at Goodman or Hawksmoor!

The reviews of Quê Việt at London Eating may seem alarming but my experiences here suggest otherwise. However I must admit that one of the managers here recognised me as bellaphonic and offered to ‘help’ with the bill, but I don’t do freebies (with exception of). That said, Quê Việt is nonetheless remarkable and it comes highly recommended…just make sure that you order the goat and wag beef.

My first review of Quê Việt here




102-104 Kingsland Road
Shoreditch
London E2 8DP

Viet Grill

The following is a guest post by a mate of mine-

Got invited by B’phon to come for dinner at Viet Grill with his fellow food bloggies. But on the evening only Mr. Noodle can join us. The three of us met at Shoreditch Station for a quick drink before turning up at the restaurant. It’s only 7:30 on a Tuesday evening but the restaurant is already 90% packed!

B’phon told me we’ve been here twice before in the near distant past but I don’t recognize the place or what we had! We soon shuffled downstairs to the basement which I didn't know existed. Failing memory and now failing eyesight… As for the latter: the darkness of the mock-Hakkasan interiors with arbitrarily applied eccentric English wallpapers certainly didn’t help.

I left the experts to decide on the menu and 6 dishes were called for. First one to arrive was 'Wicked Crispy Frog'. English translation: Deep Fried Chilli and Pepper Frog Legs. The batter on the frog legs was quite thick and made them look less like Barbie's arms... at least that's how I remembered they were supposed to look! But within the first bite my companions were not happy. Verdict: bland. At this point Mr. Noodle and I started to discuss the Chinese concept of “Enter the Taste” (not “Dragon”) which it seemed the frog’s legs lacked. Then the rest of the dishes came piling in. Small Hanoi Pho, Steamed ‘Pho’ paper rolls, Slow Cooked Mekong Catfish, Stewed Saigon Pork Belly, Bun Bo Hue and Water Spinach tossed in flaming wok with garlic (Mr. Noodle’s last entry as he remembered his mother kept reminding him to have his veg!).

Wicked crispy frog

Beef pho

Steamed ‘Pho’ paper roll

Slow cooked Mekong catfish

Stewed Saigon pork belly

Spring Bowl

Collectively the portions were fine and they all tasted sort of okay, somewhat bland (again). The ‘taste’ just didn’t do justice to the ingredients especially the meat dishes even though all the spices, herbs and MSG were there in full Technicolor glory. They reminded me about the sort of gentrified ethnic food you can find in those fancy named pseudo-ethnic restaurants which used to (or might still do) serve to clueless folks. Certainly didn’t taste like the real thing; didn’t even taste flavourable. You won’t die eating it but you won’t get excited or happy either. And if you’re a serious foodie like Mr. Noodle you’ll get ‘agitated’, if you’re like B’phon you’ll get ‘disappointed’… although he didn’t cry… just a bit sullen and bullied me to write up this mess!

Service wasn’t that great either; the waiters looked very busy all the time and kept kicking the legs of my chair, then hid behind a giant fish-tank or behind the far end of the bar. Mr. Noodle, having a higher BMI number than me, was again ‘agitated’ whenever he needed to go to the loo because the tables were so tightly packed not even Kate Moss could pass through, and there were indeed a few look-a-likes on the evening as evidence. And, someone needed to do something about those wobbly tables too… i.e. the diners themselves! I have no idea what ethnicity the young all-male waiters were. I don’t think they were Vietnamese or Chinese. B’phon guessed they were Kazakhstanis… No! Mr. Noodle didn’t care because he was busy trying to get them to give him the sauce that was supposed to come with the Bun Bo Hue. One waiter tried to convince him that there’s plenty already in the Bo bowl and there’s no need for more … further agitation for poor Mr. Noodle! He did get the sauce after about 10 minutes and almost looked like Victor Meldrew (don’t get me wrong, he’s much younger than me and B’phon)! The 12.5% service charge definitely looked harsh… but who’s to argue not to pay unless you really want to find out whether the waiters do Vo Thuat too!

I suppose if you’re looking for a good night out to dine at a Vietnamese restaurant and you’re not a serious foodie; or you tend to judge a restaurant by its decor before you even enter, then Viet Grill could be your choice. Within 100 yards of Pho Mile (thanks B-phon) this is by far a progression from the plastic cutlery and framed shell pictures that marked the décor of most first generation oriental restaurants in London. No doubt the Style Police or Christian Liaigre will be please to see them go. I remember some old orientals used to tell me “when a restaurant spent more money on improving its décor you can be sure that its standard of cooking is going down”. Those who have better and longer memory than mine will be able to testify whether Viet Grill is a case in point. Enjoy!

Urban Hermit © 03-2011

Mr Noodles' review here.

58 Kingsland Road,

Shoreditch

London E2 8DP

vietnamesekitchen.co.uk

Damn you MsMarmitelover…

My cover's been blown. But since that vid, I’ve ballooned beyond recognition and thankfully I remain yet another member of the Chinese football team…catch me if you can!

Dalston Lane Café

Happiness begins during and after breakfast at a greasy spoon.

The incomparable MoL tweeted the following earlier this month-

''A Little of What You Fancy. Sorry, East End chums. http://bit.ly/g21SU7''

Well the same goes for Dalston Lane Café. This post is dedicated to Rachel who made a comment here and recommended the place. To the well-informed residents of E8, you know (and I by now) that the breakfast of champions resideth ‘ere, so sincere apologies for spilling the Heinz about your well-kept secret. Now, I’m a serious advocate of the traditional fry-up, I’ve had this, that (but perhaps not this) and here, but none of them beats the Set4 at Dalston Lane Café.

Unlike the majority of cafés in Hackney, DLC is unusually neither Kurdish or Turkish owned. But like most greasy spoons, as soon as you step in you’re ‘Glaswegian kissed’ by the whiff of bacon cooking. My vegetarian dining companion very nearly scarpered, I duly sympathised as I would too if DLC was a dental surgery with its smell of formocresol.

The caff embraces natural daylight like good breakfasting deserves in the first place. The clientele are essentially the young assuring types, Hackney’s so middle class don’t you know! Please be reminded that it may become excruciatingly busy during the weekend.

DLC used to serve Sunday roasts, but they’ve since abandoned that as they’re already too preoccupied with dishing up their extraordinarily good all day breakfasts. As a food blogger, I don’t entertain pretensions and fastidious trends, but if one relishes in loosing the plot- I suppose you could put on your Gwyneth Paltrow hat and order the muesli, yoghurt and honey.

Veggie chum did manage to stay because of the Set3- consisting of bubble, beans, egg, and toast.

DLC offers fancy teas as well the builder's…2 and ¾ teaspoonfuls of sugar later, 'twas a most refreshing mug.

A most (smack on the wrist for repeating the word) feeble quibble; I’m not au fait with buttering me own toast!

Le Set4- fried egg, sausage, bacon, black pudding, bubble and squeak, mushrooms, tomato, beans, toast and catering portions of butter. Eggs can instead be poached or scrambled for an additional 20p and the same premium also applies to replacing the plain white toast with either crusty or granary bread.

Exhaustive use of adjectives and hyperbole(s) aside, Set4 accolades itself as the king of fry-ups. I know that fried bread’s missing but at least the overall satisfaction was down to the real English banger, proper back bacon, black pud, egg ‘over easy’ and bubble and squeak that’s better than your Mum’s. Who needs truffled egg toast or sliders when you can have all of the above and at a fraction of a price!

An additional order of French toast with yoghurt and jam. Lovely eggy toast, but order it with streaky bacon and maple syrup as it makes a lot more sense.

In the real world nothing’s ever perfect, the coffee served here is barely pedestrian. I suggest you pop over next door for an excellent cup of Union Hand-Roasted coffee and while you’re at it, grab a loaf of Hackney Wild sourdough bread.

Dalston Lane Café is yet another keen addition to the list of noteworthy (and affordable) eateries in Hackney, which incidentally pisses me off no end, as there’s the usual dearth of the above in my neck of the woods! A huge thumbs-up for DLC, happy breakfasting.




170 Dalston Lane
Hackney
E8 1NG