The Hinds Head

I was going to rant about Bob Crow and the nightmarish tube strike, but this is a food blog so I’ll voice about it elsewhere. Anyway Mr Crow was partially responsible for this review, instead of bus-ing to Waterloo Station to catch a train bound for Ascot to meet a client, I decided that travelling by four wheels was a much better option. Through the help of KC and his sat nav we reached Bray by way of Ascot. Bray can only be reached by means of a vehicle so you can put your Travelcard away.

Not that I like to brag about things, but this is my second visit to Bray. From the onset Bray is characteristic of an idyllic English village. The High Street is a busy thoroughfare for vehicles dashing to and from the M4; heartfelt sympathies for the villagers living here. If you’re after scenes of a local butcher or baker and maybe even an Ye Olde Sweet Shop, be disappointed as there’re none. Just a quaint token church, plenty of village green, a couple of pubs and two Three Michelin starred restaurants make up this tiny Berkshire place.

It was one of the two pubs that we came here for lunch. Heston Blumenthal’s Hinds Head could be considered as an alter ego to his Fat Duck. The Hinds Head is described as a local village pub serving excellent food. Just as well, the insufferable tag of gastropub has become abused of late. This is one visit to a pub that I wished Kake came along, she could then ok the quality of the real ales pulled here. Like all good pubs; The Hinds Head admonishes big screen sports, fruit machines, body odours and jukeboxes. It’s all terribly sensible but makes a lot of sense if one is coming here for a Heston fix.

Anyway, the place is divided into two zones, pub proper (serving less expensive bar food) and a restaurant. We showed up without a reservation (I didn’t know what time when my meeting in Ascot was going to end). The young chap who greeted us looked up and down his diary and muttered rather pessimistically that he might have a table available in the restaurant. We were finally ushered to rather fine spot by the front window. The bloody room was positively half empty, why do the management et al insist on going through the pointless procedure of deterring diners away when they haven’t booked! I hate that, I really hate that…waste of breath methinks. That said, the dining room was plain jane, in fact it wasn’t too dissimilar to a Harvester branch. I can’t help but think that the other diners in the room came here with gastronomic aspirations or found that a Fat Duck meal might prove too much for the expense account. All the diners lunching today were either suited (including KC) or elegantly attired, I was the only one sporting a beloved Hendrix tee. The service was excellent, the two friendly girls who waited on the sixteen or so diners (including us) were well informed on everything from the food to booze. One of the girls showed a degree of incredulity when we opted out of the wine list; she was exclaiming buts, with sweetness and politeness I might add. I was going to tell her about a little matter that suggests that I’m a dry alky until KC kicked my Doc Martens (and yes I was admitted with them). We stuck with a bottle of mineral water from Somerset for the rest of the meal. It tasted crap.

The Menu
Surely nobody ever thought it was going to be cheap here. If you want budget Heston, Little Chef has done us all a favour.

The Food. Let’s keep things simple and do away with my grammatically challenged hyperboles. I’ll just stick to not good, good, very good and more than very good.

The You Know What
Bread was not good (tad stale). Butter was very good.

Scotch Quail Egg £2.50

The sausage meat was beautifully porky according to KC. I said very good.

Pea and Ham Soup £6.35
KC’s starter; he said fresh, sweet and bloody marvellous. I said very good.

Free Range Hay Cooked Ham, Asparagus, Pheasant Eggs and Hollandaise Sauce £8.95

My starter, KC said 'I want'. I said I couldn’t tell a difference between the pheasant's and a good hen’s egg as well as the dish was more than very good.

Chicken, Ham and Leek Pie with Mustard Sauce £14.90

KC’s mains; the most expensive pie that he has ever eaten and also the best. I said very good.

Aberdeenshire Beef with Bone Marrow Sauce- Rump Steak £19.10

My mains, cooked medium. KC said that was a happy cow on the plate. Those white bits are not garlic but pieces of marrow. I said, although not as buttery and melting (I know it’s rump!) as I would expect but it was still very good.

Triple Cooked Chips
This came with my steak. It’s a Heston’s signature. We both agreed they were more than very good.

Lardy Cake and Whisky Ice Cream £5.95

Shared pudding, by this time we were stuffed. This coronary thrombosis inducing dish consists of raisin bread stuffed with lard and then fried in both butter and more lard. Served with a dark treacly sauce and alcoholic ice cream (groan). We both declared the pudding more plus more than very good.

Expensive yes, but lunch today at The Hinds Head was one of the most memorable and pleasurable meals I’ve had this year. Celebrate your birthdays, anniversaries as well as Cristiano Ronaldo leaving Man U here, you’ll love it. Highly recommended.

Addenum- I was also going to mention no matter how deceptively simple some of the dishes might sound, Heston and his chef Clive Dixon will always go out of their way to make them taste that extra special. They leave an indelible but utterly beneficial mark on the dishes. Two words; Food Heroes.



High St
Bray SL6 2AB

http://hindsheadbray.com

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This is my review of The Fat Duck. It was posted on May 2006, since de-listed from London Eating.
The usual cliché applies, life is too short, and one’s gotta experience a 3 star establishment no matter how limited one’s budget is. Went for lunch yesterday, despite the a la carte menu appearing more tempting, like everyone else going for the first time the tasting menu is the raison d’etre.

After 4 hours, I was left neither bloated nor hungry, in fact because of all the lingering after tastes I didn’t have any appetite for dinner. The star dishes were: Jelly Of Quail, Langoustine Cream, Parfait Of Foie Gras; Roast Foie Gras, Almond Fluid Gel, Cherry And Chamomile and as Michael Winner would put it, the Poached Breast Of Anjou Pigeon Pancetta, Pastilla Of Its Leg, Pistachio, Cocoa And Quatre Épices was ‘triple historic’. Totally disappointing was the remarkably bland Salmon Poached with Liquorice, Asparagus, Pink Grapefruit, “Manni” Olive Oil. The much reported Snail Porridge, Jabugo Ham, Shaved Fennel didn’t exactly raise any goose pimples and the Douglas Fir Puree reminded me of a lavatory cleaner.

Service was exemplary and friendly, except for the rather incomprehensible description of the dishes from the stunning female waiting staff. Ambience was relaxed and not at all icy like most other 3 star joints.

All in all, it’s worth it, shall be going back for the a la carte.

By bellaphon on 19 May 2006