Who would you invite to your dream dinner party?

These are the following criteria needed to be my dream dining companion:

1. Female- I prefer the company of women, simple as that and totally non negotiable.
2. Intellect- Important, the slightest indication of two short planks gives me goose pimples.
3. Charisma- This rare trait can be exchanged for number 2.
4. Talent- Mother Nature furnished us all with at least one talent, sadly a lot of us opt not to realise it. (Mine was* red wine tasting, I could tell which grape variety or blend, where it came from, what vintage {well ± 3 years} and so on)

That stated, here's my roll call;

Kirsty Wark- I can never get enough of current affairs, the inclusion of which can only cause the meal to be libacious. Besides it would also be a foregone conclusion for Kirsty with her charming accent to recite Address To a Haggis on Burns' night (then again it needn't be 25 January, as I'll still include the haggis in my dream dinner anyway ).

J. K. Rowling- My absolute cuppa. As a purveyor of all matters relating to wizardry and witchcraft, I'm sure her presence alone at the table will be magical.

Sue Perkins- We all need someone to provide the laughs during a meal. No one can spontaneously wisecrack better than Sue. Her contribution to the BBC’s The Supersizers Go...simply cemented her inclusion; the woman ate everything that was presented to her without a fuss. She’s a dudette.

Montserrat Caballé- We need a singing voice, a beautiful voice for "Casta diva" from Bellini's Norma. I know that with all due respect she's getting on a bit, but I'm totally confident she'll comply and sing the said piece to accompany the ortolan dish.

Liz McClarnon- Imagine being locked up with her in a well-stocked kitchen. This young lady is indeed blessed, what with the pop thing and then the food. I found her demeanour on Celebrity Masterchef to be fresh, no nonsense and what you see is what you get. It's gotta be that scouser thing.

On the bench (just in case of any pullouts)- Charlotte Uhlenbroek, IsabelleHuppert, Shami Chakrabarti.

There, there. I shall keep you posted on the menu.

*was, because I no longer drink.